Monday, April 9, 2012

Don't you know what causes that??? And other things to not say to a pregnant ME!

34 weeks with 6 to go - baby #3, yes i know what causes it, no I don't know that we're done for sure :)

I love being pregnant.  My experiences have granted me the comments of the public that I will now share with you.  Well meaning citizens of our great state (and beyond really) that feel the compulsive need to say something to me while pregnant.....

* Don't you know what causes that?  - one of my favorites.  No - I'm completely clueless.  Please let's sit down and you explain it to me!  I mean really?  I'm a 27 year old adult.

* Is that twins?  - nope just one.  Why is everyone so shocked that my 5 foot 1 inch frame doesn't hide a baby like I didn't know I was pregnant?  I especially love the follow up question "are you sure?"  - No actually I'm not - I was at the ultrasound but actually left before you got there - whoops!

* When are you due?  (this is made better with the addition of an audible and shocking face as if you've seen something horrific) - I mean seriously?  I'm the one who pees my pants when I sneeze - why does it effect you so much to know that I have x amount of time left?

* To follow the previous when are you due is the "no way you'll make it that long."  - Though meant to be encouraging (I at least tell myself) this cracks me up.  I want to say really?  I went 57 weeks with my 1st one and 72 with my 2nd.  I love this one because it's said with such certainty.  My doctor (who I assume actually attended medical school) thinks I'll make it to very close to my due date!

* This latest one recently happened.  I will preface by saying I'm torn between hating this guy and him being my best friend.  Random guy at lowes says..... " should've danced all night."  - This comment actually is hilarious.  Shocking only because it was said to me by a man who looked to not be a dirt bag, mid 50's, and COMPLETE STRANGER!  Thank you for your personal opinion on the events that lead up to this babies conception!  (But according to #1 - I have no idea what causes this condition!)

* I only gained (insert an amount WAY less than me) when I was pregnant. - Congratulations on starving yourself while you're trying to produce a human being!  I don't care!  I spent many years crying and being frustrated because one of my friends eats M&Ms and drinks cokes and is TINY and was wearing her pre-baby pants like 15 minutes after she got home.  I well - don't work like that.  If I've learned one thing it's that everyone is different, pregnancies take a different tole on our bodies and thank you for pointing out that you think you're awesome.  I've got a gold star for you!

* You're done now aren't you????? (with a shocked and persistent tone) - ummm does it matter to you who I will never see again?  I am having 3 - when I'm on the TODAY show announcing that I'm having my 87th kid then you can speak to me about this. (and I love the Duggars by the way!)

* Is this your first?  Followed by the look like I'm standing on the street corner in my fishnets when I mention's my 3rd.  - I mean for real.  Again with none of your business.  I had my 1st a year and a half AFTER I was married to my husband, who coincidentally I happen to STILL be married to and who is the baby daddy to ALL of the kids.  So what's with the judging judgy judgerton?

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